Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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