McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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