No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
