Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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