She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
