oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
