My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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