He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
