i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
