hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
