she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
