Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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