He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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