I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
