I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
