And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
