Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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