I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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