you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I will be naked everywhere
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
