i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
