The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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