whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
