They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
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