Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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