Apparently you make a good broom.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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