lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
