Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
