The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
