A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.