yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.