hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Your cock deserves a montage
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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