So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
