The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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