i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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