So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
