So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
