You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
