I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
too bad you live with your parents still
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
