So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
