Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize