I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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