I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
