I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
