he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
