Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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