Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
