Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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