maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
