I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
