woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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