I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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