why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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