I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
