Define "chronic" masturbator.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
