he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
