oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
