i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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