Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
