Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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