Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
